Home?

I guess I've decided that I'm going to continue blogging since my travelling adventures will resume in May with a trip to Australia and New Zealand. However, I do have to warn you that things will probably be pretty bland throughout my school semester so I can't guarantee this will be an interesting read, especially compared to my fun filled weekends abroad.

After my ski-trip-filled-holidays things have kind of settled down in regards to my location as I'm stuck in E-town until at least the Family Day long weekend due to classes and my need to make some $$. I've been here for 5 days solid now -- which feels like ages to me -- and a full week of school under my belt. My course load is not too heavy (only 3 classes) so long as I passed all my classes in France (I'm still waiting to hear as grades are not due for the profs until Jan 28). I'm back to work as a server at Hudsons Bourbon Street to try and fund my August adventure. I'm keeping the location under wraps (for those who don't already know) until I'm sure about it because I think it might make me more bummed if I talk about it and get excited and then it doesn't work out for some reason.

Well...what do I have to say about being back in Edmonton? It's been mentally challenging -- I am definitely experiencing reverse culture shock even though it might not be outwardly obvious. Maybe I was expecting more comfort from seeing my friends and family than I actually feel but something still feels "off" for me. It's like everyone went about living their lives and not much changed but a whole lot in me changed, and being planted back in this monotonous seeming life is just kind of a let-down. I know I can't expect that I can travel to different countries, on weekends, for the rest of my life but it still feels strange. I am still enjoying being close to family and friends but that also means that I'm further away from other friends.

Another thing I already knew from my experience in Montreal, Panama and Bolivia, is that when you stay somewhere for either a long period of time (over a month) or when your life is affected significantly during the trip, you leave a piece of your heart behind. What you thought was your home (in my case, Edmonton) slowly becomes more simply a "home base" with numerous other places you can now call home. You leave your heart behind in the environment, in the culture of the country, in the language and in the relationships you built. All this just makes it that much harder once you've returned to the "home base."

On a lighter note, there are some things that I appreciate more now that I'm back in Canada -- things I had in France and am only working towards in Edmonton.

1) I find more peace in solitude. For those of you who know me, you know I'm an extrovert with a jam-packed social schedule. I realized I actually quite enjoyed the nights to myself in France when I was done working on homework and could just pour myself a glass of wine and read, watch tv or enjoy my dinner. Don't get my wrong, I quite enjoyed hanging out with friends in Grenoble and my busy weekends of travelling but the peace and quiet was nice every once in a while. BUT it is still a constant challenge for me to slow my life down, especially after being away for a semester, but I'm trying...always trying.

2) I have too much stuff. I kind of started learning this lesson a long time ago but it was more in the sense that I became grateful for the things that I have in comparison with those I met in both Bolivia and Panama. Ultimately, I think I still felt like I needed to have those things around me to feel comfortable. Living in France with not much to furnish my room really showed me that extra things I have don't keep me happy and don't add anything to my life. Don't get me wrong, you won't see me tossing my things and living with the bare minimum but the clutter in my life is actually getting to me now and is most definitely going to be reduced.

Just some of the stuff that has been on my mind as of late. Some of it still needs to be processed too so I'm sure you'll be hearing more in the coming months. Enjoy your weekend!